this entry is for you

i was supposed to write about how happy hairspray made me, (you can obviously tell from my hyeena-like laughters throughout the entire show and from the way i swoon over handsome zac efron it's a big transformation from him in high school musical okie) how nice hot choc from chocz is, how i screwed up my morning and how i still like nights, lights, drizzles and stairs.

never-ending stairs

the street at night

cam craze
then rata craze









pseudo clubbing lights at marina

BUT, all these aside. a more impt issue has to be dealt with.
if you hadnt voiced it out today, i wouldnt have guessed how insensitive i have been
it's not at all petty on your part
i am truly sorry for being so absorbed with my own emotions, wallowing in self-pity all these while such that i failed to notice how you feel at certain times
i was too pre-occupied but you know how much those stuff has affected me cause you do understand me well
so i hope you know how much i value our friendship, how much i really appreciate everything you've done for me
incl your very presence in my life
it's definitely not embarrassment
frankly, that has never crossed my mind
it's more of the implications
i dont want to cause any more hurt to stickyrice should he chance upon any of my accts
and you should know how diff it is to help keep certain things a secret
esp when everyone starts questioning
i feel that not everything has to be explicitly stated
cause some things dont need confirmation from the rest of the world.
it's understood betw us how much fun we derive from being silly.
am i being selfish or thinking too much to consider all these factors?

then again, i never thought you would feel unappreciated
maybe because i never told you verbally before
but i do treasure our friendship alot alot
and that's why i give you small gifts, exchange pc, do sillythings together and want to find out every side of you to build a stronger bond and to teach you to trust
though you still try so hard to hide yourself
it's all but a facade

if we were all books,
i must be the easiest read
since im sucha simpleton
you were actually quite right with your guess
i should think that this strategy's gonna work and i'll see improvement soon

star-crossed
that's the word that keeps re-appearing in my head
since a long time ago

whatever it is,
i still have the time to make up for everything
you will have to allow me to help

sometimes, it's the unspeakable that devours us